Relationship advice: How to communicate effectively

If you want to communicate more effectively, you have to know how to state what you're thinking and also listen well when your partner is talking.

Healthy relationships take work, and good communication is a key component of success. If you want to communicate more effectively, you have to know how to state what you're thinking and also listen well when your partner is talking. These tips can help you communicate better and improve your relationship.

Communicating well isn't about blurting things out as soon as they occur to you. You have to find the right time to discuss important issues with your partner. If you're feeling bothered about something, wait until there's a time when you are alone together with no distractions. If your partner is busy or stressed about other things, they won't respond as well to your concerns.

Even when you mean to say something productive, your partner may perceive the tone negatively. Take care to always approach the conversation with positivity and don't attack your partner with sudden accusations. Try starting your thoughts with "I" instead of "you" so it doesn't seem like you are blaming or criticizing them. For example, you can say "I would like to spend more time with you" instead of "You haven't been around enough lately."

If you find yourself getting angry or overly emotional in a conversation, remember that you can take a break and return to the discussion later. People are more likely to say hurtful things when they're angry, and they're also not as effective at expressing themselves. Take some time to go for a walk, talk to your friends, watch TV or do something calming so you don't end up making things worse.

Your words aren't the only way you communicate with your partner. If you're distracted, lying down, fidgeting or doing something else while your partner is talking, he or she won't feel that you're really listening. Take time to focus on your partner by sitting up and looking them in the eye while they're talking. Don't let a phone call or a TV show distract you from the conversation; instead, devote your time and energy towards giving them the same courtesy that you would expect while you're talking.

Communication isn't always easy, but it is important. Follow these tips to make sure that you're effectively communicating with your partner.